The path of synchronicity - between the ego and the shadow

It used to be that I often marveled at how life seems to happen in a flow, and that unrelated things and events happen that are just right for you. Perhaps it is true that when you love ferraris, somehow you will see bright red ones everywhere. I am a firm believer that when you intend something more often then not, things will happen. However, sometimes what happens is what you need rather then what you prefer.

I started my journey into Coaching also as part of a series of oddly synchronized events. I have been thinking of ways in which I can reach people better and more genuinely, and coaching appeared in the horizon. It was not by any stretch of the imagination a straight forward path. Perhaps I chose not to heed my instincts, perhaps it was fear, and perhaps it simply wasn't time.

I am now entering into the 12 and final session of my coach training, and it seems as if the more I learn, the more there is to learn. It is most curious and very disconcerting. Some people would say that the training enables coaches, provides training to 'do' the real job of coaching, but to me, this was a journey further inwards then I would have expected.

I am again reminded of my trainer Coleen's words, that as coaches we see people as fundamentally whole and complete, and that we ourselves must see ourselves as complete as well. Today as I went through the tele class, my old friend self doubt resurfaced. I am not sure I know enough, or can do enough to be a good coach, and I keep feeling like I've sailed off the cliff on wings of intention alone, and have found them wholly inadequate.

And true to the powers of intention, I opened Dr Allan Hunter's book on the path of sychronicity, where he says right at the introduction
that "a signpost does not have to be made of gold - it just has to point the right direction."

In a sense, I've stepped into a space between the ego and the shadow, where neither sunlight nor rain falls, and where I must be whole to start with, or perceive that I am, or perish. And right there was my insight: everything that I am learnt, it is indeed enough, trust your instinct and the process. Nobody said that it would be easy, only the ego promised a easy path, and the shadow whispered of fear, inadequacies and failure.

In a sense, my coaching journey has been one inwards where I reflect on why I do things, realized that I didnt know my self very well, and upon seeing who I am, I didnt like myself too much. Yet at the end of the day, this very battered signpost can still show the path to bewildered travelers and in doing so, serve its purpose.

Life is immensely wonderful, and I am grateful for all the people I met on the way, some benign, some lovely, and some, belonged right in Dante's journey into the underworld, demons of charm and horror. After all, hell is not just a place we've seen, it's also a frame of mind.

And the choosing of which we take, is not always as clear as we might have hoped.